When Rutherglen's Deb Enshaw lost her partner Tony Reeckman to a distracted driver, her world changed forever - now, she’s sharing her heartbreak in the hope that her story will help save lives on Victorian roads.
Deb is participating in TAC’s campaign The Hardest Share, calling on Victorians to come forward with their own stories of losing a loved one or suffering a life-changing injury to help build a collective community-driven voice in support of road safety, reminding us of the human cost of road trauma.
Her long-time partner, Tony, 59, had his life cut short after he was hit by a car while cycling on Rutherglen-Springhurst Road on 27 January, 2023.
Police analysis showed the driver of the vehicle was on her phone in the minutes leading up the collision, and had social media opened when they hit Tony.
The driver performed CPR on Tony, who was hit from behind at a speed estimated by police to be between 79km/h and 86km/h and later died at the scene.
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As Tony’s partner for seven years, Deb said she still feels the pain of his loss, along with those who were close to him in the local cycling, photography, firefighting and farming communities.
”My life just sort of seems a bit dull… I miss his humour and silly sayings every day,” she said.
“I've also got good friends and family and that around me, and that's fantastic, but you just don't have those plans and that excitement for the future.
“Before you just sort of assumed that you're going to live a long life and your family's going to live a long life.
“Now that's kind of taken away It's like anyone can die at anytime.”
Deb grew up on a farm in Boorhaman close to Tony, who lived closer to Rutherglen, and they became long-time friends before going into a relationship for seven years, connecting through cycling.
Tony’s true passion in life was the challenge of racing and riding, taking on trails like the Stelvio Pass in Italy and finding peace in solo rides throughout the North East and beyond.
Deb’s fondest memories with Tony was their annual getaway to Adelaide for the Tour Down Under, where they would ride the circuit and come up close and personal with world-class cyclists.
“It was just the best week away,” she said.
The couple had grand travelling plans going into 2023, with Tony recently retired and ready to take a camper across the country.
“He was going to renovate the house that he bought and fix it up really nice,” Deb said.
“He should have got to do that, I'm sad about that for him because he really deserved to do those things.”
Deb said while she hasn’t been able to live out her travel dreams with Tony, she has since been rallied by friends, family and the Rutherglen community who have been instrumental in her life without Tony.
But she still feels the ongoing effects of road trauma, particularly around seeing similar incidents involving bikes.
“I was driving along one morning and someone parked at a funny angle on the road, I looked across and I could see there was a bike on the road and someone was lying there,” she said.
“My heart just went straight into my mouth.
“It turned out the person hadn't been hit at all; it was someone riding by who stopped to help and put their bike down to help this other lady.
“But just to see those things together, I go straight to the worst-case scenario these days.”
As a result of her story, Deb said she had become passionate about spreading awareness on the dangers of using mobile phones in cars.
Victoria Police analysis shows drivers are 10 times more at risk of crashing if they are texting, browsing, or emailing on their mobile and a road safety monitor survey conducted in 2023 found more than half of drivers used a mobile phone while driving.
“An accident like this could happen to anyone,” she said.
“You're distracted for a second and something terrible can happen.
“If you're driving your car, turn your phone off, put it down for however long you're driving… nothing's that important.”
So far this year, 182 lives have been lost on Victorian roads, 14 more than at the same time last year, representing countless families, friends and communities forever in mourning.
If you’ve been impacted by road trauma, your story can be the reason someone else makes it home safely.
Visit https://www.tac.vic.gov.au/road-safety/tac-campaigns/the-hardest-share to submit your Hardest Share.
The TAC will work sensitively with those willing to share their stories, providing counselling and other supports.
